The year of 2012 — the year of the dragon — was a year of change. I went from making no decisions ever about anything to making huge life decisions. I left DC for the small town of Richmond. I moved from a studio apartment to a house six times as big. I moved in with a man who makes me laugh and smothers me with hugs. I quit my job. I became a yoga teacher. (Namaste.) I write the rest of the time (when I’m not slinging canelés at the corner bakery.) So I’m up from one to three jobs but I’m also down five to four pillows. My real hair color is back. (Oh, hi gray.) Y’all, I had a lot of shit going on these past few months. And now is the time for settling. For watching all the whipped-up fairy dust in my snow globe of life to succumb to gravity. Once that dust settles and life works its way into a new order, I want to be at peace with the order and to know that even if it doesn’t all work out exactly like I planned, it’s still exactly where I’m supposed to be.
So, essentially, my intention for 2013 is to roll with it.
I also made a resolution: Go roller skating.
I did not intentionally thematically link my intention and resolution. I’m not even sure where the inspiration for the roller skating came from. I haven’t roller skated in roughly 26.3 years. The last time was in middle school with my boyfriend David Johnson. When I say boyfriend, I mean the guy who asked me out over the phone before we ever even talked in person. A few days later we met up at the Skate Ranch. We couples skated, naturally, and I fell on my ass while we were holding sweaty 13-year-old hands. Afterward, he kissed me on the cheek, told me he loved me and then broke up with me the next day on the phone. I still blame the fall but it was probably those bright pink goggle glasses with the lady bug stickers that I wore.
I pick resolutions that can be completed quickly and with little effort (I like to call it Fast-Track Accomplishment). And so my resolution is already accomplished as of last night (see above). Skating was sososososososo much fun. Amazing. Blissful. My cohorts and I gave new meaning to plastered smiles. It was all so familiar: A/C on full blast, inappropriate songs about ding-a-lings, free sodas to the best back skaters (the skinny girl with 70s hair that dangled above her butt won), leg warmers (truth). And of course the new realities: pain in my hip and the clenching of my stomach as I rolled over the uneven wood knowing I would eventually fall as soon as I got my groove back and stopped being careful. I did. I fell at the very end of the night during PYT and mid-back skate. It felt like I was made of glass and everything inside me had shattered on impact. And yet I felt expansive. Giddy. Alive. I’d say this one was a winner.
I’d also say if you made a loftier resolution, perhaps to get out there and start dating again/to find a relationship/to fall in love/get a new job/end a bad relationship, then be at peace with whatever comes from that resolve. I would also say, be specific. You gotta give the universe some direction when you’re asking it for something. Remember, action and connection are your friends. Overthinking and analyzing are not. And know that you might have to feel a little shattering pain to experience the explosive happiness, too. It’s worth it.
Share resolutions! Or give me some new music ideas. (Please.)