In cleaning out my desk here at home, I found this old writing assignment from junior year in high school. I wrote it almost exactly 21 years ago to the date of “The Science of Single” being published. Coincidence? Not really.
The writing assignment was “Romanticize.” I’m guessing we were supposed to romanticize a situation. It’s quite possible I thought I was supposed to simply write about a romantic situation. I do believe I succeeded in doing both. (Hence my score 20 out of 20. BOOM.)
I’d had a couple first dates before writing this. They were all awkward. Two of them involved parental chauffeurs. None involved Jaguars, roses or stolen glances. I’m pretty sure my English teacher should have swooped in with a smack of reality to the head as soon as I turned this in, though ultimately, if you take out the creepy sports car and creepier stolen glances, it’s a nice date.
Alas, I never reached this pinnacle of dating (unless you count the guy with the hired car and driver). Just yesterday, I joked that all my dates now consist of moonlight walks to the compost bin at the neighborhood community garden. I was half joking. Don’t worry, we go to dinner and the movies, too. In my sleek red Hyundai.
Please disregard bubble cursive. (And if you’d like even more 90s-era writing by me, I’d be glad to share with you a paper I wrote for my junior year in college entitled: An Interpretation of Cleaver’s Supermasculine Menial, Omnipotent Administrator, Amazon, and Ultrafeminine in the novels Invisible Man and Middle Passage and the play Dutchman.)