Overheard the other day on Columbia Road right by the McDonald’s (as quoted from a guy in red plastic shades and a striped tee who clearly thought he should be in Brooklyn not Adams Morgan):
“I appreciate romanticism but movies take it to a level that’s just no good.”
OR (and I’m not sure which is accurate because even though I was practically walking on his heels to listen in, I just couldn’t hear. Because I old.)
“I appreciate romanticism but movies take it to a level that I just can’t do.”
Red Shades was saying this to his Yes-man and some chick who my manfriend thought Red Shades was trying to impress. I thought for sure he was trying to repel said chick because, um, of what he said. I certainly appreciated his candidness, but this is clearly an example of what not to say when trying to score.
1. Never admit shortcomings, even if it means you’re just saying you’re human. Go with what you can do.
2. Never say that there’s too much romanticism to a girl you want to do something with other than swap baseball cards. We all know it’s true but these are not wooing words. This is a cold shower. She will go home and complain about guys in general because you said this. Don’t do it. Instead, how about “You are pretty. Let’s go on a date.”
3. Take off red plastic shades, throw to ground with a flourish, jump on heavily three times. Grunt for good measure. Dispose of remnants properly.
The exception to the rule: Justin Halpern. You know, the Sh*t My Dad Says dude. This is the title of his new book: I Suck At Girls. He is allowed to admit shortcomings and say this. Why? Because we all know he is getting laid. And Jimmy Kimmel has his back. For some reason this is sexy.